Flow with flow

5 tips to flow with flow. 

http://www.hemantlodha.com/flow-flow/

Family Is Foremost

Family is Foremost. 5 Tips for giving due importance to family. 

जीवन की है पुस्तिका, जिसमे विषय हजार। 

याद रखें हर हाल में, प्रथम पाठ परिवार।।

http://www.hemantlodha.com/family-foremost/

FIP: Fear is Psychological.

Fear is not logical, most of the time it is psychological. Here I am not covering fear like threat of terrorist attack etc. Psychological fears are of various types. Fear of failing, fear of loneliness, fear of heights, fear of darkness, fear of accident, death etc. Probably the reasons for such fear is impressions and experiences gained knowingly or unknowingly in childhood or at later stage. According to Hindu mythology fears can be carried forward from previous births as well.

Though most of the fears are hindrance in progress, particularly fear of failing is dangerous. However certain amount of fear is good to generate performance. I have worked in various countries and with people of various nationality and I have experienced that Indians perform better when they have little fear of their seniors. Best way to deal with fear is to FACE IT. When you face the fear head on, fear vanishes and your confidence increases. Once you slay one fear, you 

will get confidence to conquer all the fears of your life and you can reach the stage of fearlessness. 

5 Tips to deal with fear. 

1. Face it.

2. Most of the people can fight with

the fear by having faith in God.

3. If it is a serious problem, take the 

help of a psychiatrist. 

4. Conquer the smaller fears that will give you courage to deal with bigger fears.

5. Meditation, Yoga and Pranayama may help in overcoming fear.

अक्सर हमको रस्सियाँ, दिखती सर्प समान। 

भय का कारण मैं सदा, कहे मनोविज्ञान।।

http://www.hemantlodha.com/fear-psychological/ 

IQ vs EQ

IQ- Intelligence Quotient. EQ- Emotional Quotient. 

Often there is a question whether IQ is superior or EQ is superior. In my opinion both are necessary however I have tried to penned down differences in IQ and EQ. 

IQ is having right knowledge EQ is using the knowledge rightly. 

IQ is taking right decision. EQ is implementing the decision at right time with right people in right circumstances. 

IQ is understanding what is said. EQ is understanding which is not yet uttered. 

IQ can make you good manager. EQ will make you a good leader.

IQ can guide you to right decision EQ will help you in understanding consequences of that decision. 

IQ can show you the right destination. EQ will guide you which path will be the best to reach that destination. 

IQ is a straight line EQ is with rhythm

IQ can give you success. EQ will give you holistic success.

IQ is a function of brain. EQ is function of mind. 

IQ is needed to create relation. EQ is needed to maintain relation. 

IQ may create friends. EQ will eliminate enemies. 

You can impress with IQ. You will embrace with EQ. 

IQ can help you in achieving perfection. EQ will help you is achieving affection. 

IQ is more needed at work. EQ is more needed at home. 

IQ can make you angry. EQ will manage your anger. 

Zero percent IQ and 100% EQ needed to love or to be loved.

IQ is masculine quality, EQ is feminine quality. 

IQ is dry with facts. EQ is wet with emotions. 

IQ is learning. EQ is listening. 

IQ will give you more knowledge. EQ will give you more understanding. 

IQ seek success. EQ seeks happiness. 

IQ will help in understanding differentiation between us. EQ will help in understanding similarities between us. 

IQ will help to know outer world. EQ will help to explore inner world. 

IQ will help in gaining knowledge. EQ will help in spreading knowledge. 

IQ is a logical side of brain. EQ is creative side of brain. 

IQ is tip of iceberg. EQ is entire iceberg. 

Both have no connection. You may have either. You may have both. You may have neither. But certainly EQ is superior than IQ. 

दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े

बुद्धिमान के पर उसे, देते बड़ी उड़ान।

समझदार के हाथ पर, जग की रहे कमान।। 

http://www.hemantlodha.com/iq-vs-eq/

Fight Reduces Strength

5 Tips to avoid fight. Fight Reduces Strength. 

1. Stop communication as soon as you feel that fight is going to erupt.

2. Resume communication on next possible occasion.

3. Use mediator in case it is not possible to reconcile on your 

own.

4. Some times, let it cool off. Time is biggest healer.

5. Forget and Forgive.

http://www.hemantlodha.com/fight-reduces-strength/

Flexibility

Is flexibility important for acceptability? 

Flexibility Creates Acceptability. 

http://hemantlodha.com/flexibility-creates-acceptability/

FAF: Forget And Forgive

If you do not forgive people, they will occupy rent-free space in your mind and heart. I agree that it is easier to say than to implement. Neither it is easy to forgive nor to forget. But if one does not make efforts to forget unnecessary and painful events and forgive our near and dear ones,life is going to be full of worries and stress and it will effect self more than anyone else. It is quite 

possible that other person might have already forgotten and forgiven and is carrying on his/her life with peace and happiness where as we are spoiling our health and mental state by keeping it 

in our mind. 

 

To forget and forgive one needs to look and analyze situation impartially. One has to look at the problem and event from other's point of view. One has to step in the shoes of other party. Every 

person behaves according to his upbringing, circumstances and 

experiences. One needs to understand why the person is behaving the way, which is totally opposite from your expectations. One needs to analyze self behavior also impartially as to whether I have behaved and acted rationally or not? It is quite possible that, we 

have acted out of emotions and without giving proper thoughts.

5 Tips to Forget and Forgive 

   1. Give more importance to relationship. 

   2. Take along-term perspective. 

   3. Develop wisdom to drop your ego. 

   4. Give a benefit of lack of wisdom to other party. 

   5. Communicate to reduce and remove misunderstandings. 

http://hemantlodha.com/forget-forgive/

EIP: Extreme Is Poisonous.

If we leave apart few thing such as, scoring 100% percent in exam, extreme of anything is dangerous. Like in food, all ingredients should be in balance quantity to make it delicious; in life also everything must be balanced. Though people think of having as much of good things such as love, money and power as they can. 

However, excess of money and power also brings evil if one does not know how to handle it wisely. Mostly, it is found that the future generations in family gets spoiled if they are brought-up in extreme affluence and power since birth. 

Sometime even the extreme of giving or receiving love also becomes 

poisonous. A child when does not get balance between love and discipline, will fail to develop a success driven personality. Nature also teaches us that in extremes, life can't exist. For instance there is, a little life on North or South Pole or in deserts. One should try to 

create balance in life. Probably Buddha's middle way was meant to 

have balanceinlife and teaches us to avoid extremities. 

5 Tips to remain on middle path. 

 1. Develop an attitude of detachment with things.

2. Reduce expectations in a relationship.

3. Develop a habit of giving.

4. Drop your ego or at least manage your ego effectively.

5. Be more polite and more humble if you have excess of good things.

http://hemantlodha.com/extreme-poisonous/

EIE: Enthusiasm Ignites Enthusiasm

Have you ever noticed in a party or in a crowd, that one person has got the capability to ignite the entire atmosphere. When such people walks in, everything is full of life and when they walk out the party feels like a deflated balloon. Such people are full of 

positive thoughts, energy and have a high level of enthusiasm. In their presence it seems that even a big problem either becomes small or vanish. They Ignite enthusiasm in their entire team and an enthusiastic team can move any mountain.

Have you ever wondered what is the secret of such personalities ? Why are they always full of energy ? I think the fact is that they always read the word impossible as i-m-possible. They always carry YES I CAN attitude. They are very quick in finding alternate path in case a problem arises and always  maintain their calm. They never get disheartened. They are contagious and fill entire atmosphere with enthusiasm.

5 Tips to maintain enthusiasm. 

1. Think positive, talk positive and  act positive.

2.  Enjoy the present moments, the NOW.

3.  Remain cheerful and encourage people to be cheerful.

4.  Treat problems  as opportunities.

5.  Maintain “Yes I can” and “Yes I will” attitude.

www.hemantlodha.com 

EDR: Ego Destroys Relationship

EDR: Ego Destroys Relationship

I know many people who do not talk 

to their near and dear ones in family 

because they got hurt in past for silly 

reasons and now they are waiting for 

the other party to apologise and take 

first step. They keep presuming all 

negative things about each other and 

build an imaginary wall of hatred. 

This often happens in professional relationship also. Ego totally destroys teamwork and performance of both the groups and affects negatively to those who are involved in it. 

Though it is true that if any one takes initiative to solve the dead lock by initiating communication that is considered his/her weak point. Still initiating communication is the best way to save the relationship. Egoist people radiate negative energy and their aura 

shrinks.

5 Tips to deal with ego. 

1. Differentiate between ego and self-respect. 

2. When it is a matter of close relationship, drop the ego and initiate communication. 

3. Be more humble as you rise higher. 

4. Let the organisational goals take priority over ego. 

5. When you walk on the path of spirituality, ego reduces. 

Exceed the Expectations

If you add little EXTRA in ORDINARY you become extraordinary. I ask this question to my students that if they go to Mumbai and take a taxi from airport to Nariman Point, which takes more than an hour, what do they expect from a taxi driver ?  Most of them replied that the shortest route, safe driving, smiling behavior etc. Now suppose, if he offers you a newspaper or a magazine to read during journey & a small water bottle, how would you feel? Probably you would like to give tip when you get down. It Is the reward for extra service he has given. 

This applies to each and every 

role of your life. Give little extra 

than what is expected out of you 

and you will become extra ordinary. Mostly extra does not cost any thing extra. It requires only an innovative thinking. Try It from today and you will notice the positive difference immediately. Exceed the expectations and all will praise you. 

5 Tips to exceed the expectations. 

1. Make a list of expectations that others expect according to your 

 role.

2. Think creatively about what extra you can give compared to what is expected from you in your role.

3. Make it a habit to give some thing extra in whatever you are  doing.

4. Give extra in a natural way rather than expecting some thing in return.

5. Consider this as your duty rather than an obligation.

www.hemantlodha.com 

EHH: Envy Harbours Hate

I will not say that envy always brings hate but most of the timeit does 

develops a negative feeling towards the person, we envy. Broadly envy can create 2 types of feelings. If you have a positive attitude, then envy can encourage you and motivate you to compete and achieve greater heights than the other person. However, if you have negative attitude then you may withdraw from the game and just 

develop hatred. The best way is not to allow the feeling of envy or jealousy to emerge at all. But there are situations in which we develop feeling of envy at 

a very early stage of life when our parents unknowingly compare us 

with our siblings and we are forced to compete in studies and sports 

and expected to be first always. Our parenting system and education 

system fails to develop the feeling of teamwork. These impressions 

and experiences become roadblocks in becoming a successful  personality. In the present days of industrialization, urbanisation and scientific innovation of various materialistic things, there is a 

high probability of developing jealousy. However, we need to mould it towards our self development.

5 Tips to deal with the feelings of envy. 

1. Genuinely appreciate others achievements. 

2. Be positive about self.

3. Do not allow inferiority complex to set in. 

4. Compete with self. 

5. Work more enthusiastically to achieve greater heights. 

ENS: Eliminate Negative Stress.

In modern era, stress is inevitable. Due to urbanization and  industrialization, needs are increasing every day. It is not easy to reduce desires and expectations.  Competition and comparison is so high that even if you do not want to do it, one family member may compel you to compare and compete. Unfulfilled desires and 

expectations simplylead toincreasing stresslevels.

There are 2 types of stress. Positive and Negative. Positive stress leads to progress whereas negative stress affects physical and mental health. Progress in any field even in spirituality, is not possible if certain amount of stress is not there. Mahavira, Buddha, Christ, Mohammad, Gandhi and Mother Teresa all went through positive stress and achieved highest level of their purpose. Process of building stress, start with our senses. Senses feel and mind starts thinking and generates desires and expectations. Desires generate attachment, unfulfilment of which leads to anger. When anger starts, intellect stops working and that 

leads to deterioration of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual 

health of a person. 

5 Tips to deal with negative stress. 

1. Discriminate between negative and positive stress and meditate to remove negative stress.

2. Main reason for stress is fear of failure. Face the fear.

3. Learn to let go.

4. Reduce the expectations.

5. Think positive.

DOR: Discipline Or Regret

DiP: Discipline in Private, tip was to emphasize, maintaining discipline in juniors, in family and at work place. This tip is focusing about discipline in your personal life. Most of us have got a habit to seek discipline from others but do not adopt the same principles and 

rulesin our own life. 

Discipline must start with small things in life such as daily morning walk or exercise, going to school or office on time, sleeping on time, reaching in time for appointments, keeping things in place, wearing uniform in office (if it is there) etc. 

Discipline is a wider term but it's 

mainly related to time management. One must learn discipline from nature like earth revolves at a fixed speed on its axis and around sun that results in timely sunset or sunrise, proper seasons etc. If you are not disciplined, you will have more regrets in life. Though in India,we follow Indian Standard Time (i.e. being late for everything) and 

punctual people regret reaching everywhere on time, but their habit 

of punctuality, keeps other aspect oflife wellin control.

5 Tips to live disciplined life. 

1. Manage your time with discipline.

2. Check that there is a place for 

everything and everything is in place.

3. Do not feel irritated, if you are disciplined and others are not.

4. At home your relationship is more important than discipline.

5. Consistency is needed in discipline.

DTD: Do Things Differently

I recall Shiv Khera's line. You may not do different things but do things differently. Extra ordinary people do not do extra ordinary things; they just do ordinary things in an extra ordinary way. History shows that great people have done simple things in different way. Several countries achieved independence from Britain and European countries but Gandhiji achieved it through Ahinsa, which was very different and unique way at that time.

For doing things differently one needs to use his creative and innovative side of brain. One needs to question every aspect of activity. What are you doing? Why are you doing? How are you doing? When are you doing? Where are you doing? If you are doing some thing in a similar way since years, chances are that you have a better 

way of doing it. 

5 Tips to do things differently. 

1. Before taking any action, think twice. You may have another effective way of doing it.

2. Search and research different ways of doing same thing.

3. Question year old practices.

4. Use brain storming sessions and group discussions for innovativeness.

5. Be enterprisingin trying different ways.

DBR: Don't Break Rules.

It is not that all rules are good and 

rational but breaking rules is not civilised. If you do not like a rule try to change it but do not attempt to break it. Breaking rule creates anarchy. It disturbs life of good citizens. 

Once In Canada my son was drivingin night at around 11pm and I was sitting besides him. The roads were totally deserted but he stopped. I did not understand why he stopped. When I asked, he said there is a white line and the rule is to stop for a second, look 

around and if no one is coming from the other side then move ahead. 

The rules can be as simple as traffic rules and as difficult as coming before 9pm in the hostel. People who are disciplined and do not break rules are always respected. Even if you are a good performer but not disciplined, you can never become a star employee. 

5 Tips to follow the rules. 

1.  Be aware of rules about whatever things you are doing.

2.  Follow rules religiously particularly when you are out of your home.

3.  Do not feel upset when others are breaking rules.

4.  When you are a rule maker, make sure it is practical.

5.  Do not criticize rules, if you cannot change them.

DYD: Do Your Duty

The most difficult question in my life was and still is, who am I and what is my dharma (duty)? By dharma I do not mean here religion but duty. In life we have many roles and many relationships. So far my conclusion is honestly discharging the duty of each and every role and each and every relationship shall be our duty. 

In life we play many roles; a child, a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a member of a community, society, religious group, a boss, a  colleague, a subordinate, a citizen of nation and a member of the 

planet. Every role demands certain responsibilities and duties. Our 

dharma is to discharge those duties as diligently as possible. Some times it so happens that in a relationship, other person is not fulfilling his/her duty and  due to that we may decide not to fulfil 

our duty as well. This may satisfy our ego for time being but won't enrich our mind.

5 Tips to do your duty. 

1. Make a list of your roles and related duties.

2. Do not worry about reward while doing your duty.

3. Do not expect from other person that he/she will do his/her duty.

4. Wisdom is needed to perform conflicting duties.

5. If it is impossible to fulfill your duty, be transparent with the other person.

DMP: Don't Magnify Problems.

50% people are not interested in your problems and the rest are happy that you have them. Some people  share their problems in great details and style, thereby creating a mountain out of mole.  

It is not that one should keep his problems to himself only. Especially 

men feel inferior in sharing their problems. Most of the time men do not share problems even with their spouse. That attitude is also not advisable. Sharing problems with the right person reduces suffering and enhances chances of getting solutions. What is important is to select the right person to share your problems. 

There are two types of people with whom one can share the problems. One is your close family or an associate who is going to get affected by the problem and another is a competent person who has the ability to solve your problem. While sharing keep in mind that you do not magnify your problems. Neither the problem is going to reduce nor you can get the right solution.

5 Tips to handle problems. 

1. Problems are inevitable, shareit with a right person.

2. Be positive and think about right solution rather than feeling helpless.

3. Do not advertise your problems.

4. Forfew problems, timeis the great healer. Keep patience.

5. Try to be more knowledgeable about problem and its probable solutions.

दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े

अपने दुख तकलीफ़ ना, जग भर करे बखान।

दुख अपना बतलाइये,  लोगों को पहचान।।

DDD: Dreams Drive Destiny

Dreams here mean thoughts which we visualize with open eyes and alert mind. Dreaming with open eyes is more structured process than simply wishing or desiring. In dreaming, lot of thought process is involved. Person visualizes what ultimately he wants to become . Why he wants that ?  What are the options he has ? What would be the path and process to reach there ? 

Once the dream or vision is decided, opportunities start emerging. Of course dreaming alone is not enough. One needs to act. But it is the dream that stimulates action. Dedication and determination is required for implementing your dreams. Quality and vastness of dreams depend upon your ability to think beyond your present 

reality. As a general rule, if your dreams are not achieving 20 times success in 10 years compared to your present situation then your dreams are just average. 

5 Steps for effective dreaming. 

1. Dream for long term, at least 5-10 years ahead.

2. Dream beyond your present capabilities.

3. Do not worry that people will laugh on your dreams.

4. Read biographies of your role models.

5. Dreams followed by actions will take you towards your destiny.

DIN: Do It Now

Procrastination is a disease. It does more damage than good. Most of the people can't think quickly. They can't take quick decision. If decision is taken, they can't take quick action. There can't be any reward if you can't take timely action. 

Sometime delay tactics work but most of the time it is considered as hindrance. It is quite possible that all 

the information or resources are not 

available to take quick action but take 

your first step. Highly successful people, take very quick decision and very fast action. For them, time is the 

mostimportant resource. Time savedis money saved. 

Whether it is completion of any course, building of a house or execution of any project, it should be done as quickly as possible. For that, mantra is “do it now”. 

5 Tips to do it now. 

1. Listen to your conscious. It always advices you to take action.

2. Do not gofor excessive advice before taking action.

3. Take a small step but takeit quickly.

4. Start your day with a To-Do-List.

5. Spend every day, one hour for your health and one hour for enriching the mind. That will keep you action oriented 

through out the day.

http://hemantlodha.com/now/

दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े

कल पर कुछ मत टालिये , जो करिये बस आज। 

कल-कल करने से सदा , बिगड़े अच्छे काज।। 

DDA: Discuss Don't Argue

Most of the relationships, whether at work or in life, get strained because instead of maintaining discussion we generally end up having an argument, even on small and unimportant issues. 

Discussion clarifies things whereas argument always ends up with 

a fight. Every person is right from his point of view. Actually, a person is 

guided by his thoughts, experiences, knowledge and circumstances. It is not that the other person is always against you; it is mostly because he/she thinks differently. In a discussion, there is a scope to listen to others point of view. But when argument starts, a person 

doesn't want to listen anything 

else. If we listen attentively and 

empathetically, it would lead to 

better ideas and solutions. Be cautious on discussion drifting towards an argument, pull it back and keep it within the limits of discussions only. 

5 Tips to avoid argument. 

1. Plan your discussion.

2. Listen empathetically.

3. When you are about tolose control, stopimmediately.

4.  Learn to avoid argument on small matters.

5.  Give more emphasis on relationship.

चर्चा - परिचर्चा करें, बचें बहस से आप। 

चर्चा से हल हो सदा, बहस रचे संताप।।

http://hemantlodha.com/discuss-dont-argue/

DIP: Discipline in Private

One must be disciplined in private and praised in public but people forget this rule and do the reverse. You might have observed several times, mothers start teaching do's and don'ts to their 

children when they are surrounded by guests and unknown people. Most of the time child will not obey in such situations because probably he feels this is an attack on his ego and 

intelligence. 

Similar type of scene is prevalent in 

corporate world also where boss takes 

pleasure in showing his/her authority on 

subordinates, in front of other colleagues. He/she will start firing and criticizing his/her subordinate in front of others and poor employee may not have any option but to feel belittle. In such type of situations, how can one expect great performance? Work might be done but employees would never be able to give their 100%.

5 Tips to discipline your juniors. 

1. Do not criticize in front of others.

2.  Criticise the behavior/performance not the person.

3. Criticism should be coupled with suggestions for improvement.

4. Try to find out the root cause of a problem if it's repetitive.

5.  Appreciate upon improvements.

घृणा बुराई से करें ,बुरी न कोई जान।

नहीं  भीड़ के सामने ,कभी खींचना  कान।।

DAS: Differences Are Strengths

Generally, we make rigorous efforts to make our children and subordinates as our photo copies by constantly saying them things, which are right from our prospective. In this process, we forget and ignore that every person is different and he/she needs to build his/her own strengths. Having different skills, knowledge, attitude, and thinking should not be viewed as weakness rather it should be explored and utilized as strengths. People are not useless; infact they are not utilized to their fullest potential. Trying to fit a round person in a square peg will be stressful and useless.

Good leaders are those who can find different qualities in a person and give him/her role, which suits his/her personality. In a team if every person is doing a role, which he/she is passionate about, then the team will perform at the level, which no one can match. 

5 Tips to appreciate differences. 

1. Encourage opposite views that will help you to understand problem in a holistic way. 

2. Find out strengths and weaknesses of self, including other members of the team.

3.Capitalise on complementary qualities of each team member.

4. Respect different qualities of people.

5. Do not compare or compete self with others.

दोहा by अविनाश बागड़े

अलग अलग गुण धर्म के, होते सब इंसान।

विभिन्नता से ही बने, ये दुनिया बलवान।।